As I share my beliefs, I will use Ashton’s name, but I believe that these statements apply to all of us. I will state some of my beliefs as facts — as I understand them — and not precede them with the phrase “I believe that…”

Ashton existed before he came to this earth. He had a body of spirit and lived in the presence of God in what is called “Pre-mortal Life. God is a tangible Being, with a perfected, glorified body of flesh and bone. He wants us to become like Him. To accomplish this, He created this earth, where Ashton could have his spirit clothed in a mortal body; there are some things Ashton needed to learn that only could be learned while he had a body. Coming to this earth is a place where Ashton could be tested — to see if he would develop faith in God and if he would keep God’s commandments, which are merely the instructions that God gave to Ashton on how to manage the physical body God gave him and how to successfully navigate his earthly experience. God also gave Ashton his agency, or freedom to choose whether he would obey God or not; He would not force Ashton to choose good, no matter how much He loved him.

As I have mentioned in other posts, Ashton’s mind was “broken”; he had lost the ability to see the good in himself. For reasons that I don’t fully understand, Ashton chose to take his own life. “It is wrong to take a life, including one’s own. However, a person who commits suicide may not be responsible for his or her own acts. Only God can judge in such a matter.” (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Handbook 2) This is my opinion on Ashton’s suicide: I believe that, because of Ashton’s “broken mind,” he is not responsible for taking his own life. That is an act that is “covered” by the Atonement of Jesus Christ, who paid for all our sins.

The bottom line is that God created Ashton. He knew who Ashton was before he came to this earth. He knew everything that contributed to his having a “broken mind” at the time of his suicide. God is all-knowing. I trust Him with the judgment of my son. I trust God with all my heart.

Let’s say I’m right and that Ashton is not responsible for taking his own life and that, because of the Atonement of Christ, He is (or at some point will be) forgiven for taking his own life. What does Ashton do between the point of forgiveness and his resurrection? Ashton’s body is in the cemetery. We occasionally visit there to be reminded of his life and how much we miss him. Ashton’s spirit returned to God. He lives in a place called “The Spirit World,” which is sub-divided into “Paradise” and “Spirit Prison.” While there, he is preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ to other spirits “in prison” who did not know about or have not yet accepted Christ as their Savior and Redeemer. I like to think that he is preaching to the people who lived in Fiji during this lifetime. My mother is also deceased. She had also served a mission in Fiji — with my father — 25 years prior to Ashton serving there. I like to think of Ashton and my mother teaching the Fijiian people that they loved so much! That thought makes me smile!

The Spirit World is a temporary state for our spirits while we all await the Final Judgment by Christ and our own Resurrection, when we will all take up our bodies again and live eternally in a body of flesh and bone. We will then be brought to stand before Christ to be judged for our thoughts, words and actions while in Pre-Mortal Life, Earth Life and in The Spirit World. Christ will take all that into account to determine our final, eternal judgment. Each of us will acknowledge that His judgments are just and exactly where we should be. To be clear: none of us will “earn” our way to heaven and God’s presence. Our salvation is only made possible by the Atonement of Jesus Christ, which pays 100% of the “price” for our salvation. Our obedience to Him is merely how we express and demonstrate our gratitude for that matchless gift.

Written by Carter