Written by Carter

Ashton died in 2014. Faye and I have been planning to visit Fiji since at least 2016, when we met with one of our Church leaders as we were grieving and seeking some comfort and encouragement. In that conversation, he said, “Sometimes we need to move backward a step to help us move forward.” That is, he encouraged us to visit Fiji to help us heal. He knew about our upcoming mission to Peru. He said, “Could you triangulate your trip and visit Fiji on the way to (or from) Peru?” We checked into it, but it just didn’t work out. When we went to New Zealand in 2019 for our next mission, we hoped to visit Fiji on the way home…but then the COVID-19 pandemic broke out…and a side trip to Fiji was out of the question. As I mentioned in my previous post, April 2023 was extremely difficult for me. After that, I actively searched for ways to help me heal from my grief. Faye and I felt like 2024 was a good time to visit Fiji…with our three living children: Candace, Jordan and Jacob. They are also grieving their brother’s death. God‘s hand was in the timing of this trip; He knew we all needed to go to Fiji together…and made it possible for us to have the experiences we all had together!

The first place we visited in Fiji was the island of Taveuni, where Ashton served for about 6 months. When we attended meetings in the Somosomo Branch, one of the men there said, “I remember when Elder Mayberry opened up the Vuna Branch [about a 90-minute drive over a dirt road from Somosomo].” It was gratifying to hear that Ashton’s service there was remembered.

In that same conversation, we mentioned that Ashton had passed away. A woman asked, “How did he die? Was he sick?” One of us responded, “He died from suicide.” Her response: “Well, that happens sometimes.” I cannot think of a better response!

After the meeting, I was talking with one of the men in the congregation, Marika Lesuma. I mentioned that my parents served in Fiji 35 years ago. He immediately and excitedly said, “‘Mayberry’…did your dad have big hands and rope like a cowboy?!” “Yep, that was him!” Brother Lesuma was a young missionary at the same time as my parents! Apparently, when they had a missionary activity, Dad came with his cowboy hat and boots and rope. He told the young missionaries to run and he roped them! When I was a kid, Dad would say, “Run and beller like a calf!” I think I only ran once because he was really good at roping…and he quickly caught me…and the rope pulling tight around my body as I ran was not a fun experience!

Brother Lesuma invited us to Family Home Evening (FHE) at his home the next evening (Monday). On Monday afternoon, we weren’t sure if we should eat or not before going to their house. I called him and he was on his boat fishing for mackerel to feed us that evening! It was touching that he was doing that for us! The fresh mackerel that evening was delicious!

There are no street addresses in Taveuni…so we had to ask people how to get to Lesuma’s house and to a couple’s house who is from the US (the Cziep’s). This couple lives on Taveuni for 6 months out of the year to scuba dive and to get out of Idaho winters. We finally found them both! Brother Lesuma sent the missionaries to find us and lead us back to his house; the full-time missionaries were also there for FHE and dinner…and they shared an inspired message from the gospel (good news) of Jesus Christ that was pertinent to our situation.

When Ashton and his companion opened the village of Vuna to missionary work, they taught and baptized a couple from the next village over (Navakawau). Their names are Muri and Mele. They walked 2-3 hours one-way with two children to meetings each week for church services! They did this for two years before a branch was opened in Navakawau! Their humility and dedication are inspiring!

On Wednesday, we visited Muri and Mele and gave them a photo of their baptism, with Ashton in the photo. When Muri saw it, he put his head down, placed his thumb and index finger on each side of his nose to bury his head as he wept. Jordan was sitting next to him. He put his hand on Muri’s shoulder and wept with him. Many tears were shed while we were together…tears of gratitude for the covenants that brought us together…and tears of sadness from missing Ashton.

When we returned home, I was looking at the photos Candace posted on Facebook. We took a photo in Muri and Mele’s home. I didn’t notice at the time of the photo, but Muri was holding his phone with a photo on the screen. Faye asked Mele who was in that photo…it was Ashton and his companion! It was tender to see the love they had for the missionaries who introduced them to the Restored Church of Jesus Christ!

(As a side note, I don’t think Muri and Mele knew that Ashton had died…until their branch president (Fisher; see below) told them the day before we visited them.)

It was humbling to be invited into Muri and Mele’s home. The walls and roof were made of tin. They had a dirt floor, covered with a layer of clean linoleum. We all sat on the floor. I felt like I was in a holy place. Muri wore a T-shirt that said, “I Love My Church.” Somehow, I asked if they had been to the temple. He enthusiastically and matter-of factly said, “Yes! About a year after our baptism.” One year is the minimum time a new member must wait before entering the temple to be sealed as a family. Muri is now a counselor in the branch presidency. Now there is a family who “gets” the importance of entering and staying on the covenant path!

As we were visiting with Muri and Mele, Muri moved to the window to his home (so he’d have better access to the cell tower) and started making phone calls. We learned that he was trying to find a lobster to prepare for us to eat! When I realized that, I said, “Brother Muri, thanks so much for wanting to feed us…but Jacob and I are allergic to lobster…and we need to return to our hotel before it gets too late.” I was very touched with his hospitality and eagerness to serve us!

Before we left Muri’s and Mele’s “holy home,” I asked if we could pray together. We stood outside their home and he offered a beautiful prayer. I don’t remember what he said, but we cried together again.

Before we left the US for Fiji, I told Faye and our children that I wanted to take a photo near the same place where the photo of Ashton was taken that is on his headstone. President Fisher (of the Vuna Branch) told us where it was (across the road from the school in Vuna). It felt healing to take a photo in that place, to stand near where I knew Ashton had stood as a missionary. We also took photos of a nearby place where Ashton and the other missionaries performed baptisms; this was where Muri and Mele were baptized.

Sam Abplanalp (one of Ashton’s companions in Taveuni) told us how to find a place in Somosomo where Ashton liked to eat lunch every day: the building just south of the church meetinghouse. It doesn’t look the way Sam described it…but we still bought some food from some vendors in front of that building…in Ashton’s honor.

It must be a rite of initiation to teach a new missionary (as a prank) that, when they are full, they should say (in Fijian), “I am very pregnant!”…and then everyone laughs. When Ashton trained a new missionary in Vuna, that’s what he did…and that story is still famous there…I think a lot of that is because Ashton and his companion were the ones who opened Vuna to missionary work…to be continued.

Note: I was going to put some links in and add some other tweaks…but I decided to post this in its somewhat-raw format. Thanks for your love and support.