Some of you may be interested to know how things went for us this week, as we observed the one-year anniversary of the day Ashton became an angel, on January 28, 2014. Our daughter, Candace, said someone told her they used the term “angelversary;” I like that term! As I type this post, Faye and I realized that we didn’t just have an “Angels for Ashton Day”; we had an “Angels for Ashton Week”! Read on!

I feel like I need to say that I don’t condone or glamorize suicide in any way. Nor do I condemn Ashton for taking his own life; I will leave any judgment there to God. However, those of us who are left to mourn Ashton’s passing have some choices to make. Our family is trying to do as our blog subtitle suggests by “Grieving with God’s Guidance.”

On Monday, we had Family Home Evening at Faye’s parents’ home. In their efforts to comfort us, they were “Angels for Ashton” by sharing a talk given by Bruce C. and Marie K Hafen entitled “Fear Not, I am With Thee: Christ’s Atonement and our Personal Growth.” I recommend it (see Footnote 1).

On Tuesday evening, a good friend delivered a huge tray of pulled pork that he, his wife and several others contributed to. Thank you, “Angels for Ashton,” for nourishing us and our guests for three full meals and part of a fourth! It was such a blessing to have the concerns for preparing food removed from our figurative plates!

Also on Tuesday, Faye made some cookies. We delivered a plate to each of my home teaching families. One of these “Angels for Ashton” is doing an amazing thing: he is establishing The Ashton Richardson Mayberry Foundation, a non-profit to study depression and suicide, with the goal of finding a cure for depression. He recently travelled to Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tennessee, where he met with several prominent researchers in those fields. He gave us an enlightening and inspiring summary of his very fruitful trip. More on this in a future post.

When we returned home that evening, Faye received a call from a senior sister missionary serving in the mission headquarters where Jacob is serving for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Spokane, Washington. Faye had been trying to get a message to the mission president and his wife that Wednesday was Ashton’s Angelversary, asking them to check on Jacob to make sure he was doing okay. She had felt strongly that someone needed to acknowledge to Jacob that they knew that Ashton’s Angelversary was coming. To that point, Faye had not heard from them (but did later). This sweet and inspired woman said that Jacob came into the office that day. She had not met him, but saw his nametag and recognized that Elder Mayberry was the missionary whose brother had died of suicide the year before.  She took him by both hands, introduced herself and said that she knew some of what he was going through; her daughter had taken her own life two years ago. Faye asked her if she had listened to the message Faye had left on the office voicemail earlier that day, asking that someone reach out to Jacob. No, she had not heard that message and didn’t even know that Ashton’s Angelversary was the next day. However, she was an “Angel for Ashton,” sent by God to comfort a missionary – and his mother – during a very difficult time.

Our son, Jordan, and his wife and baby daughter, Rubi and “Baby Faye” came Tuesday evening. Having them close was such a comfort as we approached Ashton’s Angelversary the following day! Thanks for coming, you lovely little family of “Angels for Ashton”! Faye hugged Jordan and said, “Hello, my son that I can touch!”

Candace came with her three oldest children; Jonathan stayed home with the two youngest, who were a little sick. All of them are “Angels for Ashton” by brightening their grandparents’ lives. Faye’s parents also came. We knelt in prayer at 11 am, which we figure is close to the time that Ashton passed away a year ago. There was a sweet spirit in our home as we thanked our Heavenly Father for His blessings, including Ashton and the memories that we have with him. We are also thankful for God’s Perfect Plan and for Christ’s Atonement that makes that Plan possible, so that, among other blessings, we can be together as a family after this lifetime. There is much we still don’t understand; our current task is to walk by faith with the knowledge of what we DO know to be true – and not worry overly much about things that we don’t yet understand. One of Faye’s sisters gave us a wall plaque that says, “Someday everything will make perfect sense – someday.” I believe that!

After the family prayer, we went to Wendy’s restaurant in Benson to eat Baconaters, Ashton’s favorite fast food. Then we divided into three cars and delivered a plate of cookies to almost 40 people in the community who had experienced a loss in their lives. It was a blessing to attempt to be “Angels for Ashton” by extending our love and compassion to them and to feel that reciprocated to us, as well.

As we looked at the “Angels for Ashton” website (see Footnote 2), we were overwhelmed by the many acts of service that were performed in Ashton’s memory. If you haven’t already, check it out. It’s amazing! Ashton’s cousin, Leisel, created a sweet video highlighting some of these posts (see Footnote 3). It made us cry the first time we watched it. We’re also aware that some of you performed service anonymously and did not post it on the website. Thank you, as well! Many lives were touched – on both the giving and receiving end!  Throughout the day, Faye and I received several texts, emails and messages of love and support. Thank you to those we know about and to those we don’t – but God does!

On Friday, Faye and I got together with two other couples who have also lost their sons through suicide. We had dinner and a nice visit. I felt lifted by these “Angels for Ashton” who comforted me because they are good people, but also because they have experienced much of what we have through their losses.

Today, we went to church in Tucson to participate in Jordanna Faye Mayberry’s (her full name) blessing in their congregation – like a christening, but no water is involved. We had lunch and a nice visit at Jordan and Rubi’s apartment complex afterward. I like to think that Ashton – as an angel – was able to participate in our family gatherings today.

There you have it. Thanks again for your love, prayer, kindness and support! God bless you earthly angels!

Footnote 1: http://ce.byu.edu/cw/womensconference/pdf/archive/2014/hafens.pdf

Footnote 2: https://www.facebook.com/events/1514867202135189/

Footnote 3: http://flipagram.com/f/PyqJcmUqml

Written by Carter