We are very appreciative of and overwhelmed with all the support we have felt over the last few weeks as we have remembered Ashton on the second anniversary of his passing on January 28, 2014. Please know that your thoughts, prayers, words and actions are valued and needed!
I thought I’d update you on what we did. We felt strongly that we needed to be together on that day. Because Jacob had an A Capella Choir rehearsal at First Methodist Church in Mesa at 3:20 on Thursday, the 28th, we drove to Mesa so we could be with him. However, he wasn’t able to join us for the earlier activities. The rest of us drove to Mesa, picked up Chipotle’s and Chik-Fil-A and went to the Mesa Temple grounds, where we spread out blankets and had a nice lunch. It was a beautiful day with perfect weather! We played some games with the kids that Ashton liked to play when he was little: Duck, Duck, Goose (he would say, “Guck, Guck, Juice!”); London Bridge; Freeze Tag and Leapfrog.
Grandpa Carter playing Leap Frog with Hannah, David, Carter and Clara
Duck, Duck Goose
We had purchased red (representing Ashton’s favorite college, University of Arizona) helium-filled balloons and simultaneously released them into the air.
Little Faye releasing her balloon
We went inside the Temple Visitors’ Center and basked in the Christus statue there, listened to some of Christ’s words from the scriptures and had one of the missionaries take a group photo of us. (Jacob was at his choir rehearsal)
We went to a walk-through exhibit about families: their joys and fears, triumphs and tragedies. The presentation was just for us! I cried some happy and sad tears there. I love my family!
After being at the temple we went to the Methodist Church. Dr. Bishop, the choir director, showed us a musical score he’s using this year of “I Can Tell The World” by Moses Hogan . He used the same score when Ashton was at Eastern Arizona College and he had written Ashton’s name in pencil as one of the second basses. Normally, he erases those names and puts the names for the new group in that spot. However, this time, he left Ashton’s name there and put the new group names on the back of the folder. It was touching to me that he remembered and honored Ashton in that way.
The music we heard at the rehearsal was beautiful! Dr. Bishop has done a great job in bringing out their talents — and the acoustics in the church were amazing. Toward the end of the rehearsal, Dr. Bishop made some very kind comments about Ashton and dedicated their last song to him, “Pilgrim Song”. He invited Faye, Candace and Jordan (all former EAC singers) up to sing “The Lord Bless You and Keep You” with the choir, who were in a circle, joining hands. I didn’t really know the song, but wanted to be part of the experience, so I joined, as well. Before we sang, Jacob made some comments about Ashton being his brother and that he missed him. After we sang, Jacob was able to cry — something that is hard for him to do — especially in front of his choir friends and on his mother’s shoulder — but I think he needed to do that — to release those pent-up emotions of grief from missing his brother. Several in the choir also had tears in their eyes. I appreciated their “mourning with those who mourn.”
On Saturday, everyone came to our house. Faye’s parents joined us. Jonathan had another commitment and couldn’t come. We had lunch, watched “The Ashton Show” of home videos that Ashton’s Aunt Sheila had compiled for us for Ashton’s funeral — thank you, Sheila! It was fun to remember Ashton and his gentle spirit during happier times in his life. Then we wrote messages to Ashton on papers and taped them to another set of red balloons and released them in our backyard. We did that again because Jacob hadn’t been able to participate in a balloon release for Ashton yet.
I went for a walk in the wash with David and Carter. We threw the frisbee and made up a game where we tried to hit a ball with the frisbee.
Faye asked Candace, Jordan and Jacob to help her go through Ashton’s things, deciding what to keep, give away and throw away. They were able to make some headway there. I’m glad that process has started; I think it will be part of the healing.
Thanks for listening and for caring how we are doing.
The Lord bless you and keep you.
Written by Carter
My love to all of you. I believe that Ashton is supporting you as you continue to reach out to any who need this strength, loving, truly caring faith message you so generously share ! “Keep on keeping on”….
Thank all of you for sharing your grief process. These words and actions helps me know I am not alone. I pray for all your family daily !
Peggy Davis
I am so happy you all got to be together ❤️ Love you guys
I am very happy for you in having such a positive celebration of Ashton’s life.
Unfortunately for me I don’t have such a large family. When I lost Malcolm 10mos ago, we only had 11 yrs as a married couple and 31/2 of those were spent battling cancer. Since we married late in life we have no children,only family is dad and brother and their spouses in New york, while I reside in Arizona. So, when I lost my soulmate and best friend that has ended my life and now, I need to work on setting up a new type of unwanted life. So, I have trouble moving forward in that I feel very lonely and isolated. My friends still teach while I retired May 2014 so this is another problem in isolation. I need to make new retired friends. FRIEDA THURLING
Frieda,
Thanks for sharing your struggles. I pray that God will guide you in the next steps to take in your grief and healing.