My sister, Wendy, asked me a few months ago, “I ask about your other children, but wondered how you think Ashton is doing?” That was a very thought-provoking question that helped me clarify some of my feelings and beliefs.

     In answering this question, I have to be careful to not imply that I think all of Ashton’s problems have been resolved by his decision to take his own life — I do not. Suicide is NEVER the answer to the difficulties we face in our lives. Life is sacred. We are created in the image of God. He has shared with mankind the ability to CREATE life — and even that gift is to be used only between husband and wife, legally and lawfully married. On the other hand, God has forbidden us from ENDING human life. Of course, there are exceedingly rare situations (for example, self defense or wartime) where that may be necessary, but, for the vast majority of us, it is NEVER appropriate to end a life. Only God has that authority.

     Having said that, “How is Ashton?” There are MANY things that I just do not know. A couple of them is exactly HOW Ashton is doing or WHAT he is doing. I have some ideas, but I just don’t know. What I DO know is that I choose to believe. I choose to trust God and His Perfect Plan for ALL His children…including Ashton. I trust God’s righteous judgment…including His judgment of Ashton. He knows SO much more about Ashton — and EVERYTHING else — than I do!

     I appreciate Wendy asking that question. It might have been easier to “skip” over Ashton when asking how our children are doing…for fear that asking about Ashton might evoke grief and anguish. Well…I can only speak for me, but the grief and anguish are ALWAYS present; sometimes it’s just more at the surface than at other times. Asking about Ashton is actually healing for me. It’s healing to know that others are thinking about Ashton and thinking about us as we grieve our (temporary) separation from him.

Written by Carter