Written by Carter. I attended a medical appointment last Monday with a missionary with a complex medical history. To be cautious, the doctor recommended a procedure (for privacy reasons, I can’t go into detail), with the plan to call the missionary in a week (tomorrow) for his decision about whether or not to proceed. After the appointment, I participated in a three-way Facebook Messenger video call with the missionary and the mother, who lives on one of the other south Pacific islands. I explained the options to her, with the pros/cons of each. Last night, the missionary called me: after giving it a lot of thought and prayer…and discussing it with the parents…the decision was made to not go forward with the procedure. I feel good about the entire process. It was a blessing to be a part of that.

We watched a missionary devotional where Brother and Sister Steven J. Lund spoke. One of the topics was how to answer a gospel-related question when we don’t know the answer. One possible response: “I don’t know the answer to that question — but I know there is one.” What a faith-filled response!

Faye and I traveled to Wellington this week with another senior missionary couple. We had a wonderful time in another part of this beautiful country! On the flight back, I sat next to a 21-year-old young man who was born and raised in Wellington, but whose ancestors came from Samoa. He likes to play rugby…and is built appropriately for that rough game: very solid! He has some friends and family members who are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We talked a little about the Book of Mormon, and he accepted a copy I had in my backpack. I earmarked the page where the account starts of the resurrected Christ’s visit to ancient America. He seems like a very good young man. I wish him the best!

I’ve been hiking once a week to train for a hike in November with two of my brothers. It’s approaching winter in New Zealand…but when it was warmer, there was a bay where I saw a man skinny-dipping. One nice thing about cooler weather is that I didn’t have to worry about that when I hiked yesterday! However, I still found my mind drifting to those images while I was hiking. I decided to give those thoughts to Jesus so they didn’t stay in my mind. I decided to rename the bay “Jesus’ Bay.” I like that thought a lot better!

I found myself longing for Ashton a couple times this week. As I did, I had this thought: “So this is what love feels like.” I believe in a God Who knows perfectly how I feel…because He has felt all of my feelings Himself. I tried to imagine what it must be like to feel God’s grief…and joy…for His children. I felt like my efforts were so feeble…but I benefited from the attempt. God has an eternal perspective; how would that affect each emotion He has? Striving to see things as much from His perspective as I can will help me to feel gratitude for both the challenges and triumphs of this mortal life.

I don’t remember what led to this thought, but here it is: I don’t know what it feels like to be a mother. I don’t know what it felt like for Heavenly Father to watch His Only Begotten and Sinless Son suffer. But I do know what it feels like to watch my wife suffer through childbirth. I felt so helpless. Mostly, I was just there with her. I also know what it feels like to be the father of my own son, who suffered with mental illness. As a father, one of my roles is to protect. I could not protect Ashton from his mental illness. As a doctor, I strive to help people improve from their illnesses. I could not help Ashton’s illness improve. This is my comfort: God knows Ashton. He will judge Ashton. Ashton is no longer a “prisoner” of his mortal brain, which was ill. Perhaps those are some of the purposes of our mortal sufferings: a) to develop compassion for others and b) to help us realize that any suffering is limited in time: the way you or I feel right now is not that way we will feel forever.

I’ve also been thinking about a phenomenon I observed while growing up on a farm: when calves would get big enough, we would separate them from their mothers. For a day or two, the calves and their mama cows would moo to each other. One mama cow would moo for her calf for more days than the rest of the cows…it seems like it was for a week or two. I’ve thought of that sometimes when I miss Ashton…and I’m definitely not a cow! I haven’t stopped missing Ashton! If I were a cow, I’d still be mooing…and it’s been over seven years since he died!

Our replacements will serve from the US, but won’t be ready to start taking calls until June 18. Therefore, we decided to extend our mission by one week. We will come home June 17. We will speak in our church congregation at 9 am on June 27. All are invited, if interested.