Carter walked in this morning, returning from the gym, and said to me, “You’re home. It’s nice to have you home again.” I was in the kitchen fixing breakfast. I thought…Well, yes, I do live here. I’m usually home at 6:30 in the morning. I knew what he meant though.

Where have I been if I haven’t been home?

I’ve just been existing, trying to survive. We both have. We’ve been doing the bare minimum to keep our lives going. We’ve been living on Nico’s burritos, Wendy’s salads, Mom’s soup and anything we could scrounge up.

It will be 7 months on the 28th of August since Ashton died. I must be coming out of the deep, debilitating grief I’ve been in. We both are feeling better. We are functioning much better. We feel almost normal for us. Almost. Maybe we’ve found that new normal someone told me about.

God has been so good to us. I know he is strengthening us so that this burden does not feel so heavy.

I have learned some new ways to cope, to help the healing. I’ve learned about affirmations. Here are some of mine:

My Faith is Stronger Than My Fear
My Will is in Alignment With God’s Will
I Let Go of the Fear of Other Peoples Judgement
My Heavenly Father Knows, Loves, and Cherishes Me

I listen to these and many more during the day and at night before I go to bed. I’m starting to believe them.

Thanks, Carter…It IS nice to be home with you.