I knew that I would be writing about this sometime soon. I knew it would be coming out of me. As I have been looking for, writing about, and taking pictures of Joy, I’ve had some thoughts in the back of my head that I knew would need to surface. It is now time to let them. It feels right that I should now write about the true Joy, the lasting Joy that can only come through the Savior of the World, Jesus Christ.  It’s the Joy that Ashton was teaching the people in Fiji about. It’s not a trivial thing… and I want to acknowledge that… really… it is the most important of all the Joys that can be found.

Here is an excerpt from an article I read this morning:

“I know that the only lasting Joy and happiness we will ever find during our mortal experience will come by following Jesus Christ, obeying His law, and keeping His commandments.”  L. Tom Perry – December 2014 Ensign

This past Thanksgiving was harder than I expected. I thought I was gearing up for it, but it started as I was preparing food that morning and really hit me as I was driving to my parents house with my contribution of pumpkin and turkey for our meal. I knew Ashton would not be here with us. I knew that. I was ready for that, I thought. But… the grieving has to come sometimes. There are times when… no matter how much I prepare…it comes full force. I thought to my self today… I want to be done with this, I want to get this over with…I’m tired of this. It’s HARD! It’s really HARD!!! I’m tired of being broken, feeling broken. I’m not used to this. Why is this taking so long?  (I’m so impatient.)

I read a lot of things about grieving. I know that everyone grieves differently and on their own timetable. I know that. I also know that God has his own timetable for me. I know there are certain things I need to learn while on this earth.

I also read this, this morning:

“Just when all seems to be going right, challenges often come in multiple doses applied simultaneously. When those trials are not consequences of your disobedience, they are evidence that the Lord feels you are prepared to grow more. He therefore gives you experiences that stimulate growth, understanding, and compassion which polish you for your everlasting benefit. To get you from where you are to where He wants you to be requires a lot of stretching, and that generally entails discomfort and pain.”       Richard G. Scott

I am willing to wait. I am willing to let this grief journey flow through me at it’s own pace, just for me. I am willing to endure this….for I know my Heavenly Father has wonderful plans for me. I know He wants me to experience that lasting Joy only His Son can offer me. I’m grateful to feel that Joy at times. It brings me Hope for better days to come.

I will continue to look for and take pictures of Joy, the word. It is fun and distracting for me at this time in my life. I need that distraction. But I am looking forward to the time when that lasting Joy will be felt more. Meanwhile… I will work on my impatience and do my best as I continue this earth life with people I love and people who love me. That love we share is evidence of God’s love for me and the lasting Joy he wants for me.

Written by Faye