Ashton ~ age 4 ~ Whiteriver, Arizona ~ So proud of the presents he lined up!
I’m beginning to understand. I think I understand what it means now. I’ve heard that the holiday season is hard for some people. Well, I think we can be included in those “some people.” As hard as we have tried to gear up for this time, we still have to feel the grief that comes. I understand now. The loss is felt at a heightened level. The Joy and gladness of the season is harder to feel. I have found that I really need to work at it to feel those things. Sometimes it’s just plain hard to feel at times.
You know one thing that has saved me? The beautiful, nourishing music of Christmas.
The “Up On the Housetop” and “Jingle Bells” are nice and merry, but it’s the real, Christ – centered music of Christmas that has helped me get through each long morning when I’m home, and dreary evening when bedtime can’t come soon enough. My mood is brightened a little when I hear why Christ came and the story of his coming. Right now Josh Groban’s “Ave Maria” and “O Holy Night” are some of my favorites. Different arrangements of “Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring” are heard in our home. That one is so beautiful! Hearing the Christmas story never gets old this year. The concerts I’ve attended have been a blessing. There’s a lot of Joy in the nourishing music of Christmas. One song that stays in my head right now ends with, “….Jesus is come that we might have Joy.”
The get togethers with family have been a blessing also. They do remind me that Ashton is not with us, but they also remind me that there are many who love me and are aware of how I’m feeling. Those family times also make me aware of those who need MY love and MY acknowledgement of their sadness and loss. I’m not the only one who feels the loss. Somehow… being with those who feel that same loss and share those same tears is a great blessing. Family is a great blessing.
I am grateful for this heightened awareness of my Savior. I’m grateful for this beautiful, nourishing Christmas music. Ashton loved to sing it. I can still hear his deep bass voice and see him singing in the choirs at college. I’ve heard there are choirs in heaven. I hope Ashton gets to sing in them. I’m sure he needs to be nourished now too, just as we do…missing each other this Christmas season.
Written by Faye
