Note: I split last week’s thoughts into two posts.

After the dedication of Danny DeWitt’s grave, nine other missionaries who served with Danny in Venezuela between 1983-84 all signed a Venezuela flag that one of them had brought – and gave it to Danny’s widow. We took pictures with all of us standing in front of the casket. One of them told me that he appreciated our posts; his daughter is struggling with depression and has attempted suicide once. Externally, she is a very outgoing and cheerful person. However, when her dad asks how she’s feeling inside (on a scale of 1-10), she will often say “zero” or “one.” The old Star Trek series began with the statement, “Space…the final frontier…” It seems to me that the mind is the true “final frontier”! There is so much about the mind that we don’t understand! The poetess, Emily Dickinson, said,

The brain is wider than the sky

For, put them side by side,

The one the other will include

With ease and you beside.

The brain is deeper than the sea,

For, hold them, blue to blue,

The one the other will absorb,

As sponges buckets do.[1]

Wow! That is well-said!

After the graveside service, three other returned missionaries (RM’s), Faye and I went to lunch together at the same restaurant that two of those RM’s and I – along with our wives – had dinner with Danny DeWitt a few weeks after Ashton’s death. I can’t express what a comfort it was to spend that evening with good men that I love like brothers! That was also the last time I saw Danny alive. The lunch after the funeral was also a time of healing and love – and great food! I’m so glad we did that.

For those who would like to contribute to Danny’s family’s financial needs, please consider donating to this GoFundMe site. Please do so soon, before the website is taken down: https://www.gofundme.com/lisadewittfamily

On December 5, Faye, Candace, Jordan, Rubi and baby Faye drove to Phoenix to participate in an “Out of the Darkness” suicide awareness and prevention walk at Kiwanis Park.[2] There were about 3,000 people there. I was impressed by how much collective emotional pain was there, but also with how much love and healing was there, as well. Suicide knows no boundaries of gender, ethnicity or social class. Attendees wore colored beads (white, orange, red, gold, purple, silver, green, blue or teal) that represented their personal connection to the issue of suicide. Faye and I wore white beads because we are parents of a suicide victim. Each group released balloons the same color as their beads. The balloon release was the most touching part for me. Tears flowed freely. The walkers then walked through an arch of blue and white balloons, then between two rows of veterans holding various American, Arizona, and military flags. I was reminded that veterans are twice as likely to die of suicide as the general population.[3] Our son, Jacob, plans to be a chaplain in the military. Perhaps his brother’s suicide will help him in his service to help those who are suffering from mental illness.

Some might ask why we chose to attend this walk. We felt like it’s “…better to lean into the stiff wind of opportunity than to simply hunker down and do nothing.”[4] Faye has also commented that we can no longer help Ashton – he’s in God’s hands now – but we CAN help those who are still living and struggling with mental illness. We walked in honor of Ashton, but also in honor of those who are struggling. We pray that they will continue the fight. Life is so precious – from the moment of conception until the last breath. Please keep going! You can do it! We are cheering for you![5]

Today, I taught a lesson in the men’s group (priesthood class). As part of that lesson, I shared my conviction that, as much as I love my son, Ashton, God loves me – and all of us – infinitely more. I trust Ashton’s judgment to God. I trust His mercy. He is the most merciful Being in the universe.

Healing. Peace. Comfort. Forgiveness. God’s mercy. All are beautiful words that represent beautiful doctrines that I believe with all my heart.

Written by Carter

[1] http://www.bartleby.com/113/1126.html

[2] http://afsp.donordrive.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=donorDrive.event&eventID=3552

[3] TITLE: Suicide among male veterans: a prospective population-based study.

AUTHOR: Kaplan MS, Huguet N, McFarland BH, Newsom JT

SOURCE: J Epidemiol Community Health. 2007;61(7):619.

OBJECTIVES: To assess the risk of mortality from suicide among male veteran participants in a large population-based health survey.

DESIGN AND SETTING: A prospective follow-up study in the US. Data were obtained from the US National Health Interview Surveys 1986-94 and linked to the Multiple Cause of Death file (1986-97) through the National Death Index.

PARTICIPANTS: The sample comprised 320 890 men, aged>/=18 years at baseline. The participants were followed up with respect to mortality for 12 years.

RESULTS: Cox proportional hazards analysis showed that veterans who were white, those with>/=12 years of education and those with activity limitations (after adjusting for medical and psychiatric morbidity) were at a greater risk for completing suicide. Veterans were twice as likely (adjusted hazard ratio 2.13, 95% CI 1.14 to 3.99) [corrected]to die of suicide compared with non-veterans in the general population. The risk of death from “natural” causes (diseases) and the risk of death from “external” causes did not differ between the veterans and the non-veterans. Interestingly, male veterans who were overweight had a significantly lower risk of completing suicide than those who were of normal weight.

CONCLUSIONS: Veterans in the general US population, whether or not they are affiliated with the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA), are at an increased risk of suicide. With a projected rise in the incidence of functional impairment and psychiatric morbidity among veterans of the conflicts in Afghanistan and Iraq, clinical and community interventions that are directed towards patients in both VA and non-VA healthcare facilities are needed.

[4] Gordon B. Hinckley, https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1996/04/remember-thy-church-o-lord?lang=eng

[5] Jeffery R. Holland, https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1999/10/an-high-priest-of-good-things-to-come?lang=eng