UofA Basketball

Ashton loved basketball. It was his favorite sport to play and watch. He LOVED UofA Basketball. The season is about to start and we are remembering….

We took him to the Red & Blue game last year. He was at the height of his anxiety, but wanted to go anyway. Some things were just worth pushing through the anxiety to do. UofA Basketball was one of them. We got there early and let him choose where to sit. He chose the front row of one of the highest sections with no one around us. People eventually piled in around us, but he wasn’t budging until the game was over. I’m the only one that could tell when he was anxious and he was feeling it then… his chest would rise and fall more rapidly than usual and he was fidgety. He loved being at the game despite the anxiety. At the end of the game, we waited until most of the people had filed out before we left. Being out in public like that was stressful on him. He usually slept for a while when he finally got home to his safe place. I’m glad our home was a safe place for him. That’s one thing I’m really happy that we could provide for him.

We wanted to go to the Red and Blue game this year in honor of Ashton, but the game is all sold out.

Both of his brothers share Ashton’s love for UofA basketball. It seems appropriate to include his brother Jordan’s comments on this subject:

“The Sunday night before Ashton died (he died two days later) was the last time I talked to Ashton. That night UofA played a basketball game against Utah in which we won in overtime and improved to 20-0 on the season. It was an exciting season because they set a new record for the best start of any UA basketball team. We chatted on Facebook about that for a little while and we joked and talked about stupid brotherly things (some of which would be inappropriate to share here.;))

The last few months before he died, UofA sports was one of the only things he could focus on and we talked about how the basketball team was doing all the time. We would look up stats and replays of games that he had already watched and I would tease him and ask ‘so did they win again?’ UA sports was one thing we could talk about and it still felt like I was talking to good ‘ol Ashton. We went to Grandma Richardson’s house one day. We commandeered their television for an entire afternoon and watched UA beat Michigan in a game that went down to the wire. Ashton had a hard time at the end when we shot some crucial free throws so he would close his eyes because that had been ‘good luck’ before. We are pretty superstitious fans. We then spent the rest of the afternoon watching some college football bowl games. Good times :).

It was hard to watch UA basketball after he died because of all the good memories I have with my brothers doing that. There was one game in particular where we played San Diego State in the Sweet 16 of the NCAA tournament. For some reason I couldn’t find anyone to watch the game with and Rubi (my wife) wasn’t there either, so I watched it by myself. It got pretty close there toward the end of the game. I would get excited when we would make a good play and then almost immediately I would start sobbing because I remembered how much fun I had watching the tournament with my brothers. I could see Ashton getting excited (which he didn’t do all that often) and I would think of how we would make fools of ourselves and hug and stuff at the end of a particularly nail-biting game when we won. I sobbed several times during this game and I was grateful that I was alone so I could cry unabashed and just miss him.

I have found that I don’t have to go looking for opportunities to miss him and have a good cry because of it; they find me when I need them, it seems. Just last week I was walking on the UA campus after a class and I spotted one of the main players for Arizona’s basketball team, Rondae Hollis-Jefferson, who is probably going to the NBA after this year. I recognized him right away and I felt like I should go talk to him and specifically about Ashton. I’ve seen UA basketball players on campus plenty of times but I’ve never felt the need to talk to them. I felt like I needed to this time. So I did it. I went up and told him about my brother and that the last time I talked to him was after the Utah game when we were 20-0 and how much UA basketball means to us. I said ‘I know that basketball is just a game, but I just want you to know how special it is to watch you guys play now because it reminds me of so many good times I’ve had with my brother. Just know we’re rooting for you!’ Rondae was very kind and I appreciated him listening to me so much. I got emotional while talking to him and on the way to my car I sobbed some and then when I got in the car I had to give myself a minute to let it all out.

I miss Ashton sooo much. UA sports seems so trivial, and it really is, but it will always remind me of him and I hope he gets to watch with us at least some of the time :)”

*Ashton Mayberry (holding the ball) with Sam Lewis.